radioEARTH
Alcohol Warning Labels
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's
suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
_____WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
_____WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
_____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
_____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you
love them.
_____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
_____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe ex-lovers are dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
_____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
_____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the
forehead, knees and lower back.
_____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
_____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
_____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.