radioEARTH - Evergreen - always useable

True Black Friday Shopping Stories

I saw a large, loud and very florid woman chase down and tackle a saleswoman at Nordstrom's once. Last I saw of her the nice policeman was stuffing her out the door in handcuffs.

one year i was the front manager on duty.. a woman was using a roll of wrapping paper to take down a hanging wreath from a pillar in the store.. the wreath was not for sale, it was being used for decoration.. when i told the woman this she became enraged and began hitting me with the wrapping paper.. i had to call mall security to remove her from the store..

Worked at a toy store once, and all our EasyBake ovens sold in a matter of hours. The argument over the last one came between some mother and a very defiant college kid who wanted to use it as a prank gift for a friend. Although he was there first, she got furious and really started going off at him. I think he finally gave it up to her, but I'm not sure because I walked off after 15 minutes of some very heated exchanges. And we wonder why our kids are so screwed up these days.

I was an assistant manager at a toy store for two years. The first year, a lady SCREAMED at me on the phone (she was in the parking lot waiting for the mall to open) because the store manager went to a different entrance than the one the screamer was waiting at to hand out tickets for Furbys- no ticket, no Furby. One of the part-time holiday workers gave her my name and the store manager's name before handing me the phone to deal with her. She started yelling our names to the rest of the crowd outside and screaming, these people are the reason why our children won't have a Furby Christmas morning! When they open the doors, let's get them (or something like that). Fortunately, we had a couple of cops there and one of them got on the phone and dealt with her. No violence at our store that day, but at another store, some lady bit a child.

My girlfried-then, wife-now was working returns at Best Buy, when a guy got the in the wrong line (he was making a purchase), got the the front, found out he couldn't make a purchase at that register (some idiot manager decreed it so), and promptly hocked a wet one in her face. I'd have pressed charges, but he was only banned from the store for life.

i worked at Staples for a couple years. We (the employees) knew we'd have to deal with stupid peopke fist-fighting over $10 scanners so we decided to make the best of the whole day. We all got there super early (we opened at 7; by 5am there was a line of at least 50 in the parking lot), someone brought in donuts and someone else brought in a huge thing of starbucks coffee plus specialty orders, and we had fun. when it came time to open doors, two of the bigger electronics guys had to stand on either side to act as security guards and as the people streamed in, rushing like cattle, one of the electronics guys started going, "moooooooooooooo." it was hilarious and so so relevant.

I work at best buy, last year, I was working the games area when I was slapped on the head from behind by a hard plastic videogame case. When I turned, an overweight african american woman with a memorycard in a game case was just about to open her mouth to speak. I put my hand up to cut her off, and told her that I didn't have anything she was looking for, period.

I was working at a borders about 6 years ago and the lines where outrageous. They where around to the exit to the mall. A lady walks up to the cash register and begins to write a check. I ask for her ID (required during rushes because of fraud) she refuses to show me her ID. I politely tell her (while there is a huge line behind her, I was one of two managers at the time) that she needed to show me her ID or she would need to play in cash. She throws her ID at me and begins to cry and scream, at least 50 people where in listening distance. Her young daughter was astonished at her mothers actions. She shrunk to the size of a grape nut and gave me a look like "please god just get this over with". After I ring her purchase and attempt to hand her back her ID she grabs my hand and rips it from me before I could fully extend. She then starts to go down the line talking shiat about me and borders. The WHOLE freaking line that extended to the mall exit. Surprise! This lady was a middle class white woman. I swear my best customers where bikers, old people and poor collage students. Middle aged white woman are the bane of American society.

When you work for a private franchise of a national chain, you have little or no say in the advertising leading up to the day in question. When the newspaper inserts say you open at 7am, but you really open at 8, people use words like "liar" "asshole" "motherfarker" and even once "lawsuit" When the insert prints in tiny letters "Limited Quantities, No Rainchecks" apparently shoppers interpret this as "You're allowed to complain in loudly and violently when you don't your way."

I had the horrific experience of enduring three "Blitzes" at Wal-mart. I was hired before the store even opened and I worked as an overnight stocker. The management was totally inept and had no plan, and told us virtually nothing as to where merchandise would be placed. Yeah, the drills were over by toys, no one tells us these things. The store was a Supercenter, so people were lurking around from midnight waiting for the sale to start at 6AM. Idiots. The first year, scooters were hot. When we posted signs at 4AM saying "limit 3" one guy started swearing up a storm, said he'd buy as many as he wanted and punch out anyone who tried to stop him. I had to inform the store manager of this threat, and she called the police to monitor the scooters. That same year, a co-worker witnessed a woman slug a man over a cheap DVD player.

I've worked in various stores on Black Friday...Circuit City, Gamestop, Toys R Us, Wal-Mart and, this year, Fry's Electronics. Wal-Mart was the craziest, since I had a middle-aged man take a swing at me because we were out of $30 DVD players 4 hours after the sale started. I got fired because I punched him in the face. There's no such thing as self defense at Wal-Mart, at least if you're an employee.

Worked for Kay-Bee Toys in the mall the sad Christmas of 1997, the ones with the Nintendo 64 and Tickle Me Elmo crazes. People would come in and ask two things:

1. "Do you have Tickle Me Elmo?"

Yes, you fat, worthless consumerist hag, we're the only store in the country that has a whole stockpile of them in the whole freaking country. There's a whole slew of them we're throwing in the dumpster right now to make room, so you better go climb in and get one now before the truck takes them away.

2. "No? Oh, okay. Say, does Toys 'Ya' Us have Tickle Me Elmo?"

How the F**K am I supposed to know that, lady? Where the F**K do you think I work answering questions for retards like you? Can't you see me with my K-B Toys shirt on, standing in F**KING K-B Toys? You think I go to OTHER toy stores on my day off? You really think I'm gonna refer you to them? What the F**K is wrong with you?