Day #151 - 4/3/98 - Final Entry

Jay and I have agreed to a 5-year deal to do a morning show based in Little Rock, Arkansas that will be syndicated. I can't discusss all the specifics yet but the format, situation and potential has kept a smile on our face for days!

This odyssey has ended and now I'm going to fill you in on what transpired between February 11th, 1998 and April 2, 1998. This will be a long entry but I think it will be worth your time. If you're seeking employment now, I trust this candid account will give you insight into your situation.

Why I suspended the diary entries on February 11th

The fact is, it became too painful to write because as each day passed, the diary became an unmistakeable reminder that I was still unemployed. February 11th marked the 120th day of unemployment. At that point, my 3 month severance had run out and I was waiting for my first unemployment check which was a big Reality Check. We use benchmarks to measure our lives and 120 hit me very hard. I also knew my entries had been getting more and more despondent and depressing. I didn't want to put myself thru that daily nor did I want to bring anyone else down who might be in the same position (and believe me, I know a LOT of unemployed radio folks were reading the diary).

Miscalculations

Jay and I used several different airchecks during our job search. When we started to send out tapes at the end of October, the first aircheck got us two offers: one in Oklahoma City and one in Ocean/Monmouth County, New Jersey - both medium markets. We passed on both because of a money issue (which of course in retrospect didn't seem so bad a few months later. Sometime in mid-February we were kicking ourselves in the butt.) In addition, Jay was offered a job singularly at a station in Denver and I was offered a job singularly in Little Rock.

We made our first miscalculation early on. We were making 6 figures in Cleveland and certainly wanted to walk back into a similar situation. We might have been a little cocky and in being so, were determined not to take the "first thing that came along". Unfortunately, what we didn't count on were how few great jobs there are anymore in this business. Deregulation, consolidation and syndication have eaten up a huge chuck of positions. It had been at least 8 years since either of us had to actively search for a position and a lot had changed. A LOT. We underestimated the breadth of change and it's effect. The pickens were slim.

Our next miscalucation was the second aircheck we started shopping around. I changed our presentation in January and started to send it out. Response was not what I hoped for. Yet, I continued to use this particular aircheck thru the end of February. It got us some nibbles, but nothing significant. I should have known after a month that it wasn't doing the job, but I was too close to things. We lost more time.

The fact of the matter is, you can be the most talented SOB on the face of the earth, but it's also real possible that an aircheck displaying 1 hour of 1 day in 1 week out of a whole career may just not showcase your talents and potential.

I'm convinced that was the problem with the second aircheck. As a matter of fact, at this point we both realized that having had our act practically DISASSEMBLED in Cleveland through the continual interference of a consultant, PD and GM who ALL wanted to be the "chef" without having a clue, left us with tapes that reflected a shell of the performance we were capable of doing. Why do I say that? Because in early March, Jay and I pulled out some of our airchecks from Q94 in Richmond and started to listen. We were blown away. The show we brought from Richmond was not the show we left in Cleveland. It was hard to see that until we really sat down and faced the music, so to speak. Once we came to this juncture, we knew we had to go thru every tape we still had from Cleveland to find a something - anything - which would better reflect who were were. This took several days of intensive listening and editing. It was like starting all over again from scratch. In effect, we had wasted 4 months.

Our third miscalculation was economics. It's hard enough to get a job in radio these days by yourself. It's twice as hard if you're looking around as a team. Many stations like to keep as many stable players as they can. If one guy leaves a morning show, they just want to replace him. If the anchor accepts a position somewhere else, the station will usually opt to keep the sidekick because he's familiar to the audience. Their goal will be to search for a new anchor to plug in. Around this time I started to email Jay and suggest that maybe we had better start looking around singularly. Although I wasn't in immediate financial jeopardy and had enough resources to continue for probably 10 months to a year between unemployment, my bank account and my wife's job, I also knew the longer I was without full-time work, the less marketable I would become. I was also concerned because my wife's checks would stop in June as she's a teacher and is paid over 10 months. I knew the summer would eat through our safety net. We continued to apply for jobs as "Corey & Jay" but I also sent a few packages out to opportunities that clearly were for just one person. I felt an obligation to my wife and children to pursue possibilities as a "backup" plan.

You Are What You Do

Being the breadwinner can suck. It's an awful lot of pressure. There were nights I couldn't sleep. There were days I was depressed. I'm sure Jay and I went thru all the typical emotions anyone does being out of work. Job hunting is a series of rejections until they all of-a-sudden stop. You're rejected for a myriad of reasons, too. You can't take it personally, but you inevitably do. One PD's concept of entertainment and talent is not necessarily shared by another. One guy likes phones, one guy likes bits, one guy's looking for a certain voice quality, one guy won't even consider you because you're too experienced and he knows his budget can only get someone with a few years under their belt, one guy wants a woman, one guy wants a man, one guy is only advertising to meet Equal Opportunity regulations and has already hired someone. The list goes on and on. Most of your packages are wasted, but, you don't know that. You like yourself and know how good you are and can't imagine why any PD wouldn't immediately see how valuable you are! You take your packages to the Post Office every few days and you think, "These are the ones!"

But, it doesn't work that way. Job hunting is a big crap shoot where you send out tapes and resumes over and over again until you roll the right combination. In the meantime you're dealing with the ever-present demons of the human psyche. You start to doubt yourself. You start to feel lousy about yourself. You get tired of explaining to your friends your current situation. You want to withdraw deeper and deeper into yourself. Then finally, you become apathetic. You start to not care.

This is the worst part of all.

Everyday, I would get up and try and find something meaningful to do. I would try to pump myself up because I KNEW this was happening to me, just as people warn you it will. It was a psychological battle from morning til night. It was probably hardest on my wife who could only stand by and watch as I became more quiet and smiled less often.

She's a Saint.

My wife has always believed in me and stood by me. At one point, I thought I might pursue a communication-related job outside of radio. But, one day she said to me,

"I love being a radio wife. I love it as much as you do. I've only known you as a person on the radio. It's what you do, it's who you are."

Her words rang true. It is who I am. I'm a radio person. I'm an entertainer. I'm in showbiz. This is my life. I can't fool myself and pretend I could do anything else. I would never be happy or fulfilled. I knew I had to continue to move forward with the job search. There was no other path.

A Twist of Fate, A Prayer and A Dab of Luck

I prayed. So did Jay. Sometimes you have to rest your head on your father's shoulder. Sometimes there are no immediate answers and the only logical thing to do is to ask for help, guidance and support. I think it helped immensely. If you're unemployed now and going thru any of what I've related so far, find the time to pray or meditate or do whatever it is you do to reach out to God or the Supreme Being you believe in. I'm absolutely convinced in Divine Intervention because I feel it occurred with us.

I was headed up to New Jersey to see my brother. I had also been contacted by another radio station in the Ocean/Monmouth County market that was interested in me for their morning show. They wanted to see me. Early on the morning I left, I logged on to my computer and received an email message from the man in Little Rock who had offered me a great job a few months earlier. His message asked me to call him. Well, I was pretty surprised to get it because I thought for sure he hated my guts and thought me the scum-of-the-earth after I had previously accepted a position and then had a change of heart. I emailed him back and told him I'd buzz him from the road, as I was traveling that day. Somewhere in Maryland I stopped at a phone booth and called. He said he wanted to fly Jay and I out there....he had an opportunity. When he gave me a overview of what he had in mind, I was elated. I called Jay that night and told him to get ready to head to Little Rock. And that's why we're now all due to a Twist of Fate, A Prayer and A Dab of Luck.

(Oh, incidently, the station in New Jersey called me the day after I got back from Little Rock and offered me a job, too. When it rains, it pours.)

Thank You

There are so many people I have to thank who helped me during this passage in my life. I won't remember everyone, but I'll do my best.

First, thanks to my wife, Chris and children, David & Eric, who love me no matter how much money I'm making.

Thanks to all who read my diary - who emailed me with supporting thoughts and kept me going early on. I am indebted to your kindness.

Thanks to Mike McVay and Associates for their support including Jerry King who works with Mike's consulting firm. They were very kind to us. Thanks to Steve Davis with Zapoleon who sent a few good leads our way. Don Anthony ("Love ya babe") from Talent Masters who also worked on our behalf. Thanks to Kidd Kraddick, Dallas' #1 Air Personality for an email out-of-the-blue which really bolstered my spirits when I needed it most. Thanks to Tony Florentino, PD at Lite 98 in Richmond who is one of the most gracious programmers I've ever known. Thanks to my old friend and college buddy, Johnny Burke, Flint Michigan's #1 Air Personality, who lent support.

Also thanks to:

Mark Roberts & The Morning Rush - Former Program Director/Morning Host KAFX 95.5, Lufkin, Nacogdoches, Texas

Artie Sport 927 AM, Melbourne, Australia

Ron Jordan AM 650 WSM Nashville

Scott Cox Carbondale, IL

The Air Personality formerly known as Bill Stewart

Eric Roozen, KMIT Mitchell SD

Keith Collins WNPQ-Canton, Ohio

Kevin Gossett, WASH, in D.C.

Mark Haney from the Stan & Haney show on WRXK-FM 96 K-ROCK in Ft. Myers / Naples, Fl.

Grant Thoms 10-2 Dunedin's 4XO, Dunedin, New Zealand

Marty Zivin, President Zecom Communications, Inc.

Brad Madsen / WMIL-FM106 / Milwaukee, WI

Karyn Kasi overnights - WCKG/Chicago

Ron Mitchell, WLTE Advertising / Marketing

Mary Ellen Kachinske P.D./Q-104, Cleveland

Shawn Smith Director/Affiliate Relations, Rogers Broadcasting Limited

Bill Kelly from "Kelly & Kline"

Bob Sokoler, "Louisville Tonight Live"

Chuck Nance

Larry Wachs- ex-KLSX/Los Angeles

Dustin Daniels - KRRV-FM Alexandria

Dan Allen, Rent-A-PD

Peter the Gabby Cabby

David Allan Boucher, Magic 106.7 Boston

Jim McNicholas - Formerly of Y-107.9 Chicago.

Brian Taylor / PD, New Country B98, Sikeston, MO

Rusty Humphries, TM CENTURY COMEDY

Ed Wank and Vanessa Wilde at WRZX-FM (X103) in Indianapolis

I'm sure I've left out many, judging from the amount of email I received. Please don't be offended. Every email, every good thought, every helping hand was appreciated more than you'll know.